Day 2- Non Hodgkin lymphoma

Non-hodgkin lymphoma (NHL) is a malignancy of the lymphocytes. In simple words, it's cancer of the lymphatic system.

day 2 at the course saw the intensity of the course with numerous technical stuff need to b learned. hectic as it is, we still managed to get our breaks n it was during the zuhur prayer that i get my knock of the day.

usually, i rarely meddle with people business but feeling like making a bit of small talk, i decided to ask A(people confidentiality)why he was wearing an ankle guard."injured ke? terseliuh eh?"."tak ah.""abes, asal pakai ankle guard ni?""..aku kena lymphodema"...biar betul.it is then that i noticed what happened to his legs.


-what a lymphodema looked like-

then, we chatted. he was doing his masters in UK when he noticed that he had a lump. then, he decided not to undergo chemo cuz scared but as time pass by, the symptoms got worse, n he had to undergo 6 cycle of chemo. Now, for those who don't know, going for chemo is like being made to eat that will make u vomit. It's not pleasant.et al. It made u sick, nauseous, vomit, fatigue, lose weight, lose hair and it saps the energy and life out of you.

And then, he had to stop studying cuz he missed to much of the semester. He was advised to find an office job by the doc bcoz he’s condition wont enable to be outdoors anymore, prompting him to come to the course. Oh, and he’s been unemployed for 4 years…

I really take off my hat to this guy. I really had the utmost respect to any cancer sufferers or survivors. It’s not an easy thing. Dah la sakit, lama pulak tu, betahun-tahun. Kalau sakit lain, demam ke, jantung ke, sakit kejap je. N the medicine they took is horrible. N x semestinya sembuh lak tu. N afterwards, they need to start a new life from scratch. Imagine the enormous mental challenge that they been through. Berat mata yang memandang, berat lagi bahu yang memikulnya.

He’s really been an inspiration to me. Cool je, n still happy je. As if, xde masalah langsung. Le berulang balik from negeri9 to the course everyday. He was a civil engineer and now he had to passed up that dream. At this point all that was going in my heads was, aku ingat aku dah teruk, ada lagi orang yg lg susah dari aku. In fact, almost all people, I presume, had their own deep, dark secret. I can sense it from their eyes n from their talk. Macam lirik lagu, masing2 ada masalah sendiri, masalah dunia, masalah peribadi. Yang kaya ada prob org kaya. Yg miskin ada prob org miskin.

From my observation, 7 out of the 12 people in the class ada masalah berat. 5 lagi tu ada masalah gak, tapi xseberat lagi 7 ni. 4 of them are employment related, 1 is familial related, 1 is either employment/financial and 1 is either familial/financial.

He’ll have his follow up next month n probably another vascular surgery to correct the lymphedema. Encik halim said he got a job alredy. Good for him.

Never lose faith

Allahuakbar.

Aku pernah berdoa kepada Allah agar ditemukan dengan seorang yang mampu menjawab persoalan yang terbuku di pekungku. seorang alim atau seorang abid atau seorang guru. Jikalau ku tahu orang itu duduk di gua terpencil sekalipun, akan ku jejak beliau untuk menghuraikan buku-buku simpulan persoalan di benak ku ini. dan beberapa hari lalu, ku ulangi doaku ini, dalam keadaan basah kuyup disimbahi air hujan kota raya yang hangat.
'Ku tahu Kau sentiasa mendengar Ya Allah, tapi kenapa Kau tak menjawab?'ku bermonolog sendirian. persis orang kehilangan arah haluan. bak kapal tiada kemudi di lautan bergelora.

Allahuakbar.

Sesungguhnya Allah itu Maha Mendengar.السميع. Maha mengetahui rahasia. الخبير. Semalam tika ku sibuk dengan urusan duniaku, tiba2 ada sekumpulan manusia berkumpul untuk mendengar ceramah. 'Dipersilakan Asyraf imam muda untuk memberikan ceramahnya'. Terpaku diriku seketika. dahagaku terhadap ilmu tidak pernah puas, lantasku tinggalkan urusanku dan menyertai kumpulan itu. Inilah kali pertama aku melihar mahupun mendengar suara beliau. (Kerana selama ini, ku fikir yang asyraf muslim itu imam muda)Lalu bermulalah syarahan beliau, dan isinya adalah mengenai wasiat Luqman nur hakim kepada anaknya, sepertimana yang terdapat dalam Surah Luqman.

Ilmu yang kita ada ini sangatlah cetek. ibarat setitis air di lautan. Banyak yang kutimba semalam, mendengar kata-katanya, luluh hatiku, ibarat ditoreh dengan pisau belati dan berdarah kepanasan, pilu sangat. Pelbagai perkara yang ku persoalkan selama in terjawab. dan akan ku ingat katanya, Allah takkan uji seserorang itu melainkan dia tahu orang itu mampu menanggungnya, kerna Allah itu Maha Adil. Seberat mana ujian itu menunjukkan sebanyak mana Allah sayang padanya. memang aku lupa. memang aku tak bersyukur. Mampukan aku lulus ujianmu ini Ya Rab? Ya Allah, biarlah pengakhiranku di dalam Islam dan iman.


p/s: asyraf imammuda wins hands down against acap jambu penyu. xle celen.

Sayugianya..

Well, I decided to start a 10 day blog post since I had enrolled in the 10 day course. One post each for the issue of the day. The course is great and I get to meet all kind of people. Ranging from 55+ to as young as 23 years old, the course acts as a melting pot, and blend is indeed what we do. Apart from one weirdo though, ahaha. I thank Allah for giving me Taufik and Hidayah when I asked for it, and less that I know that He intent to it in a way that you will only notice it after it has happened. Rediscovering yourself is totally easier said than done. You hear motivationist or preachers blab self improvement techniques and to do be a better person but 99% will not make a change. The 1% discovered it through the hard way. And don’t be surprised to find a Malay version of the post as well. I’m in the process to ‘melestarikan bahasa’. So, without further ado, here goes my so called blog-a-thon.

Day 1-The unemployment issue

Well, there was the introduction phase and later on, we chatted around. And thanks to that great enquiry instinct women possess, my cover was blown and I was made the leader of the course. Great, another burden to carry, but I suck at leading and soon they shall see. The food‘s being given twice so, we get to mingle during that period. Then, after many conversations, I found out that 5 don’t have a job, 4 don’t have a real job and 3 have jobs but looking for a job to make ends meet.

They might not tell it to your face but you can sense it from the desperate facial expression and voice tone. The 3 with the jobs actually have great remuneration but still, expenses are killing Malaysian families nowadays. Lots of graduates are being produced yearly but, without jobs to match their skills, what a waste. The Talent Corp is a waste of money because we have great human resources; it’s just we don’t create enough opportunities for them. And don’t get started on the financial crisis issue. A country with a financial crisis won’t be spending RM 5 billion lavishly on a building that have no importance and could only create 300 odd jobs.

Last week, when I went to the BBQ party in Port Dickson, the same issue arise again. We got this guy who had been training superbly and finishes with flying colors, comes out with no job. And for the recent post of trainee at the institute, only 10 out of 2000 applicants are hired. What’s the percentage? Only 5% were hired! And that’s to become a friggin trainee, not for a permanent post. So, what the 95% going to do? Re-apply to other place, get rejected and then, either they re-train, which is a complete waste of their spent time for their previous skill, or return to their parents. Thus, leading our workforce to have low experience and the only way to get better is through experience.

When you ask our leader, they say ‘oh, you have to improve your skills (which they already have), become an entrepreneur (which is friggin difficult due to governmental red tape, the only option is to open a stall), don’t be choosy la (how can you be choosy when there’s nothing to choose?). The best part is this, ‘we had offered 4,000 jobs at the recent job fair (I won’t say which one) and we are proud of this’. Numbers that attended the job fair? 400,000.

You might say I’m complaining without offering something concrete right? So, here’s some of my suggestion.

Reduce inflation. With reduced inflation, the people purchasing power parity will increase. Thus, leading to a better quality of life and people can enjoy their lives more and families will be happier.

The current method to increase wages will only lead to further inflation as there are more money circulating. In the end nobody wins and it will only devalue our currency. There’s no need to look good on financial papers saying that we have the highest GDP/ GDP per capita when that doesn’t reflect the actual situation.

Curb inflation by implementing ceiling price, forming unions that act upon traders who shoot up prices, increasing supply and make sure that it is not ok to increase price whenever oil price comes up.

Hence, by reducing inflation, people don’t have to look for a second job. People won’t have to be choosy. People will be braver to become entrepreneurs. I end this sad speech with Salam 1malaysia.

thescriptology

New from The Script, If you ever come back.

-and if you're out there trying to move on,
but something pulls you back again,
I'm sitting here trying to persuade you,
like your in the same room-

-now they say that I'm wasting my time,
cause you never coming home,
But they used to say the world was flat,
but how wrong was that now-

been to james st where these guys lives and hang out. i still remember goin to lidl (cari mac n cheese dgn porn or capik kisas, time tu cam dgn jere belum ajaq mkn yogosan lagik), lalu pass the famed guinness brewery (tapi xpenah nk p tgk pun, usha kot luar je) n usually the main purpose of goin to james street was bcoz of goin to the big an post (post office in gaelic) to pick up undelivered packages. sounds cool eh? xde manenye, i swear to you ireland is sebijik macam kampung msia. the supposedly big an post tu mcm post office balik pulau je. aah, god i miss eire!
sape2 nk blanje aku g tgk dieorg kt spore or manila nex week, aku akan cinta org itu seumur idup.